HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Relationships are a necessary part of our existence.
However, relationships can be healthy or unhealthy.
Healthy relationships contribute to our overall well-
being while an unhealthy relationship does the exact
opposite. There are different things that point to
whether a relationship is healthy or not.
To tell if your relationship is healthy or not ask
yourself these questions
:
1. WHAT DOES HE/SHE BRING OUT OF ME?
The quality of your relationship revolves around what
you become by it. How is the relationship impacting
you? Note this is not about the other person forcing
you to change who you already are. In a healthy
relationship, you don’t feel forced to change who you
are but rather inspired to make needed changes. In
other words, it does not try to fix you but rather help
you fix yourself. A true partner knows your weakness
but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but
fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your
spirit. Recognizes your disability, but emphasizes your
possibilities.
2. WHAT DOES HE/ SHE THINK OF ME?
What your partner thinks of you really matters. It
tells or determines the value he or she places in such a
relationship. And we usually give quality attention and
care to whatever we value. Does he/she see you as a
plus in his/her life? Relationship works when it involves
mutual contribution. If your partner does not see
you as a value or at least a potential value in his life,
the intimacy and closeness will likely diminish with
time. Also, people tend to become what the most
important person in their lives believes they can be.
That’s why people in abusive relationships are usually
self-critical and timid.
3. WHAT DOES HE/SHE THINK OF MY FUTURE?
Every true relationship invests in your future one way
or the other. Your relationship should contribute to
your dreams and aspirations. Does your partner
support and consider God’s plan for you. Does he/she
help it or hinder it? This emphasizes the need for you
to determine the direction of your life. If you know
what you want in life and where you are going, it is
easy enough to figure out who fits into the picture.
4. HOW DOES HE/SHE BEHAVE TOWARDS ME IN
DIFFICULT TIMES?
The real test on the quality of your relationship comes
during difficult times not when the goings are smooth.
If he/she turns abusive or one way or the other makes
it look like you are the cause of his/her problems,
that’s a negative signal.
5. What does he/she thinks about my values and
beliefs?
If you are in a relationship where you have to
sacrifice your core values, beliefs and things that
really matter to you, you may need to re-consider
that relationship. It is true that we are to adjust and
sacrifice certain things in a relationship. However,
when it involves relegating things that really matter to
you; you are likely to end up unhappy in such
relationship. One thing peculiar with couples in healthy
relationships is the fact that they have similar values,
beliefs and focus.
6. HOW DOES HE/SHE REACTS WHEN ISSUES ARISE?
Disagreement occurs every in any relationship. What
matters is how it is handled? If he/she holds grudges
for days and drags every little issue or disagreement
to the extent that a third party need to be involved
before it can be resolved, it does not tell well about
that relationship.
7. HOW MUCH DO I TRUST HIM/HER?
A relationship without trust breeds insecurity, heart
breaks and emotional instability. It is impossible to
have a relationship if there is no trust in such
relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship are
quite open to each other. That’s why communication is
very important in relationships. If he/she allows you
to wonder or try
to guess what he/she has in mind; If you constantly
sense insincerity from him/her, then there’s bound to
be trust issues in such relationship.