10 THINGS I WANT TO TELL TEENAGE GIRLS

Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls
1. If you choose to wear shirts that show off your
boobs, you will attract boys. To be more specific, you
will attract the kind of boys that like to look down
girls’ shirts. If you want to date a guy who likes to
look at other girls’ boobs and chase skirts, then great
job; keep it up. If you don’t want to date a guy who
ogles at the breasts of other women, then maybe you
should stop offering your own breasts up for the
ogling. All attention is not equal. You think you want
attention, but you don’t. You want respect. All
attention is not equal.
2. Don’t go to the tanning bed. You’ll thank me when
you go to your high school reunion and you look like
you’ve been airbrushed and then photoshopped
compared to the tanning bed train wrecks formerly
known as classmates – well, at least next to the ones
that haven’t died from skin cancer.
3. When you talk about your friends “anonymously” on
Facebook, we know exactly who you’re talking about.
People are smarter than you think they are. Stop
posting passive-aggressive statuses about the myriad
of ways your friends disappoint you.
4. Newsflash: the number of times you say “I hate
drama” is a pretty good indicator of how much you
love drama. Non-dramatic people don’t feel the need
to discuss all the drama they didn’t start and aren’t
involved in.
5. “Follow your heart” is probably the worst advice
ever.
6. Never let a man make you feel weak or inferior
because you are an emotional being. Emotion is good;
it is nothing to be ashamed of. Emotion makes us
better – so long as it remains in it’s proper place:
subject to truth and reason.
7. Smoking is not cool.
8. Stop saying things like, “I don’t care what anyone
thinks about me.” First of all, that’s not true. And
second of all, if it is true, you need a perspective
shift. Your reputation matters – greatly. You should
care what people think of you.
9. Don’t play coy or stupid or helpless to get attention.
Don’t pretend something is too heavy so that a boy will
carry it for you. Don’t play dumb to stroke someone’s
ego. Don’t bat your eyelashes in exchange for attention
and expect to be taken seriously, ever. You can’t have
it both ways. Either you show the world that you have a
brain and passions and skills, or you don’t. There are
no damsels in distress managing corporations, running
countries, or managing households. The minute you
start batting eyelashes, eyelashes is all you’ve got.
10. You are beautiful. You are enough. The world we
live in is twisted and broken and for your entire life
you will be subjected to all kinds of lies that tell you
that you are not enough. You are not thin enough. You
are not tan enough. You are not smooth, soft, shiny,
firm, tight, fit, silky, blonde, hairless enough. Your
teeth are not white enough. Your legs are not long
enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. You are
not educated enough. You don’t have enough
experience. You are not creative enough.
There is a beauty industry, a fashion industry, a
television industry, (and most unfortunately) a
pornography industry: and all of these have unique
ways of communicating to bright young women: you are
not beautiful, sexy, smart or valuable enough.
You must have the clarity and common sense to know
that none of that is true. None of it.
You were created for a purpose, exactly so. You have
innate value. You are loved more than you could ever
comprehend; it is mind-boggling how much you are
adored. There has never been, and there will never be
another you. Therefore, you have unique thoughts to
offer the world. They are only yours, and we all lose
out if you are too fearful to share them.
You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.
~ Leonard Otieno