FIRST DATE TIPS: WHAT TO TALK ABOUT AND WHAT TOPICS TO AVOID

FIRST DATE TIPS: WHAT TO TALK ABOUT AND WHAT
TOPICS TO AVOID
First dates aren’t easy. They usually consist of
moments of awkward silence, fear of having food
between your teeth, wondering if he noticed your
nervousness, thinking you said something really stupid
and wishing you could take it back, and the worst one,
trying to think of what the heck you should talk about!
One of the tips was: Don’t talk about why you got
divorced for more than a few minutes. Why? Because
your date might be going through his or her own
divorce, and is probably viewing dating as refreshing.
The last thing he or she wants to do is relive your
divorce, hear your complaints and analyze what your
ex spouse might or might not be thinking and feeling.
Besides not talking about your divorce, there are other
topics of conversation you should stay away from on a
first date. There are also some great topics that are
perfect for a first date; topics that will spark
intellectual, emotional and positive conversation,
hopefully resulting in a second date!
1. BAD TOPIC: POLITICS.
Obamacare,Raila,Uhuru,Goodluck,Museveni etc is not
first date stuff! People get really sensitive and
offended if the person they are with doesn’t share
their political views.
GOOD TOPIC: What’s in the news. If you aren’t already
watching the news and reading the paper, please
start. Aside from the fact that it makes you a more
intelligent person, that it’s healthy to be informed
and knowledgeable, and that you are setting an
example for your kids, knowing what’s going on really
does make you more attractive and interesting to your
date. Plus, it sparks interesting, thoughtful
conversation. I know you are busy, but you can get
caught up on world news if you invest even 15 minutes
a day reading the paper or news online.
2. BAD TOPIC: OLD RELATIONSHIPS.
Just like your date doesn’t want to hear about your ex,
no one wants to hear about an old boyfriend you still
miss dearly, or the one who got away.
GOOD TOPIC: Kids or family. Your date went out for
dinner with you to get to know YOU, and the best way
he or she can do that is to hear you talk about your
kids or your family, the people you are closest to. I
always like to watch a man’s expression when he talks
about his kids. That tells me everything I need to know
about what kind of father and person he is. Or, one
time I was dating this guy and he talked about how
“stupid” his mother was. I RAN the other way.
Seriously.
3. BAD TOPIC: YOUR JOB (IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY).
I think there are two types of people. Those who go to
their jobs only to bring home a paycheck, and those
who truly have passion for what they do. If you are
the former, keep your job description brief and
instead talk about your hobbies and/or interests
outside of the office. By the way, I have nothing
against people who work for a paycheck. I’m not
judging. I’m just saying, whatever you talk about with
your date, talk about it with passion and happiness,
versus “My boss is an a-hole.”
GOOD TOPIC: hobbies, interests, travel. Let’s say you
just got back from Spain, or you have a trip planned
to China. Or, you just started doing yoga and you love
it! (That’s what I would talk about if I had a first
date tonight.) Or, you are learning Spanish. First
dates are all about figuring out if you want to have a
relationship with this person. And so much of that
comes down to having things in common. So, tell your
date what turns you on!
4. BAD TOPIC: SEX.
It’s just in bad taste to start talking about sex on a
first date. It just is.
GOOD TOPIC: Love. You might disagree with me, but I
think it’s okay to talk about love and relationships,
and what you think makes a good one. Get it on the
table! Tell your date what you want and don’t want.
I’m not saying to tell your date you want to be
married within the year, but saying, “I’m really
looking to fall in love,” or “I would like to be married
again someday,” aren’t forbidden. Use your best
judgment, but be honest. Chances are, your date wants
that too.
In closing, of all the first date tips I can give, the
best one is to just be yourself. Be authentic. BUT, be
YOUR BEST self. Offer your date the things you love
about yourself; your passion, your heart, your humor,
perhaps. Leave your divorce baggage at home tonight.